Tying up loose ends!

Yes I’m really leaving today for 5 months! This isn’t just any trip, it’s a spiritual pilgrimage, my pilgrimage!  I will journey across six countries and will traverse many lands, but the most importantly I will go through the land inside myself.  I will explore aspects of myself that I’m not even sure I know yet.

We don’t often take the time to reflect in life but over the last four months I’ve had to. The journey began for me the moment I decided I was going on this trip.  I have been tested and challenged like never before and at times didn’t know how I was going to get through!  I have laughed and cried, I have grieved like never before, I have felt fear and anxiety far beyond what I even thought was even possible and I’ve said goodbye’s to people that I thought were going to be in my life for the long haul.

When I planned this trip I didn’t realise how much of a commitment I was really making to myself.  This experience has shown me how powerful it really is! Someone recently said to me when hearing about my trip, “You are committing both your present and future self to this” That has really stuck with me! How cool is that we as humans if we choose can commit a part of ourselves to something so significant that will inevitably change us and potentially the course of our life. Now that is trust!

So what else have I learnt:

  • It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, your world is still always within you
  • Courage can be summoned in any moment even when you haven’t been able to summon it before and even if you didn’t realise you had it all there
  • With enough love, commitment and dedication to yourself you can conquer anything
  • Fear can really f*** with you but if you learn to lean into the process, peel it back one step at a time, get some good supports around you, professional help if you need it and really feel it, you CAN and WILL get through it
  • You can get through challenges far beyond what you thought was possible especially if you hang in long enough
  • Like a young child that needs to be nurtured and healed back to life through love, we too as adults sometimes needs this, give that gift to yourself
  • Making a commitment to yourself and your life to live, be and do what is really truly important to you will be one of the most life changing and important decisions you could ever make for yourself, your world and the world around you

I’m still nervous as hell, get anxious, and scared but all the while going through the process and super excited what lies ahead on the road for me!  What I do know is this, these things do not have to be felt in isolation and they certainly don’t have to be felt independently of each other!


Love… The ultimate test!

If you’ve read my post “Breaking Free” you will know that I am going travelling soon and you’ll know what it’s taken for me to get this point.  I thought I’d faced all my challenges when I wrote that post but what was to happen next was not what I was expecting and it was one of the ultimate tests… Love!

What have I learnt… ?

  • Love is a very powerful force but most powerful when it is directed toward the self
  • Letting go is love and love is also letting go
  • Surrendering into the deep sea of the unknown no matter how scary it is a necessary and vital part of growing
  • The more you “feel the fear and do it anyway” the more you will feel it and do it anyway again next time
  • It doesn’t matter what it is, how long you’ve had it or how much you’ve wanted it… Like a child throwing a paper plane off the edge, you watch it fly, hope it lands safely and get ready to do it all over again
  • Loving yourself above and beyond all else, even when it’s hard, even when it’s scary and even when it means potentially hurting someone else… It is still one of greatest gifts you will ever give to yourself, and ultimately to the other person